He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize