Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
