Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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