Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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