I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
