If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
