well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
