oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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