"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
