We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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