Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize