Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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