Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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