Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
