So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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