hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
