Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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