he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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