dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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