oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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