I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
