Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
