Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
