Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
