We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize