I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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