am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
