So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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