hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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