We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize