He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Of course I have a pirate flag
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
