I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
