Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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