I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
