Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
