Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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