Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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