I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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