He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
