I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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