hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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