no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
