at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
