i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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