A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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