definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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