I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
