Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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