i love accidental penises.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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