I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
