i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize