sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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