She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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