Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
