i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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