You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
