There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
