That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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