I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
