I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
