jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
