whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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