You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
