I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
