Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
