We named our party play list daddy issues
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
