Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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