We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
