He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize