those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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