I heard we made out
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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