we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
