i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
