i barfeds in our rink
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
