oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
