You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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