dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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