There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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