She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
