Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you inspire me to be a worse person
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My vagina is very pro this idea
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
