Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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