so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
