How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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