If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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